The shaming has not stopped

by Girl // February 8, 2016 // No Comments

Ringing in Chinese New Year It’s the Eve of Chinese New Year, a big festival for us. We had Reunion Dinner on 7 Feb, Sun night. It seems like my mother has not gotten tired of publicly shaming me yet. The... Continue reading →

Hiatus — Things happen in threes

by Girl // February 6, 2016 // No Comments

It seems that things tend to happen in threes. CoDa I have not gone for CoDa for possibly two months. I’ve gone for at least three meetings. I remember I wanted to sit out one of the meetings intentionally. Once per... Continue reading →

My first CoDa outreach

by Girl // February 2, 2016 // No Comments

On New Year’s Eve, I did an “outreach” to a CoDa member. This is something that can be done when you feel the burning need to talk to someone, simply to share if you need a listening ear, or to get... Continue reading →

Inner Child healing: Session 1

by Girl // February 2, 2016 // No Comments

Steve started very powerful theme for Group at the beginning of this year — our “inner children”. More specifically, dealing with and healing our inner child. He tells us that no one ever grows up; adults are simply big kids.... Continue reading →

An unexpected epiphany of self-sabotage

by Girl // January 23, 2016 // No Comments

I had an epiphany when watching this video. (Update: I found the video missing. If the code is ever broken again, this is the direct link.) I’m self-employed and Christopher Duncan is the latest motivational business coach I follow. I did... Continue reading →

Detaching in love: My parents are “dead”

by Girl // January 20, 2016 // 15 Comments

Today is the day I finally accept that my parents are dead. More specifically, today is the day I come to terms that my IDEA of an ideal father and mother are dead. These “ideal” people do not exist My hope that... Continue reading →

Being in therapy is not a weakness

by Girl // January 14, 2016 // No Comments

Being in therapy is not a weakness. That’s what my Group Therapy mate told me a few weeks ago. In fact, it’s a strength. You are brave enough to seek help. You’re a trailblazer for someone from your culture. What... Continue reading →

No shame in having enough sleep

by Girl // January 11, 2016 // No Comments

There is no shame in having enough sleep. This is what I said aloud to my husband, as he was falling asleep on the couch (as he usually does). It may have spoken to him more than I expected. He... Continue reading →

I can’t let go of my dying phone…

by Girl // January 9, 2016 // No Comments

I’ve bought an iPhone 6S last year. Was dying to order it and dying for it to arrive. But had to wait for my husband, because we were getting one each, and we wanted to buy it online together. I... Continue reading →

Inaction… Clean clothes piling up

by Girl // January 9, 2016 // No Comments

I’m not sure why I feel inertia toward hanging my clothes. I think I’ve not hung any washed and clean clothes for a month. They’re forming a huge lump of fabric in my fresh clothes basket 🙁 Is this a... Continue reading →

Unable to declutter email…

by Girl // January 7, 2016 // No Comments

Can you imagine I feel guilt, fear and insecurity regarding unsubscribing from mailing lists? I have a problem with letting go. I fear the information I would not receive if I unsubscribed, even with mailing lists that I did not... Continue reading →

I fear my own wedding video

by Girl // January 5, 2016 // No Comments

My wedding videographer has sent me the video in November for my review before it is being finalised and their job would be complete. My husband has said I can look at it and decide, he doesn’t need to give... Continue reading →

Decide, do and don’t hold on to the outcome

by Girl // January 4, 2016 // No Comments

So I brought up my agony with this group of friends at group therapy. Steve used a parallel: he asked if the three of us have been been dumped before. Two of us said yes, while one has been married really early... Continue reading →

Emotional awareness

by Girl // January 3, 2016 // No Comments

Steve has taught me that there are four emotions: Mad Glad Sad Scared Over all this time, I’ve learnt not to feel. Because I’ve been programmed by my childhood that feelings are “troublesome”. So, I’m not in touch with my... Continue reading →

Adult Friendships

by Girl // January 3, 2016 // No Comments

I spent 2015 mulling over four groups of friends (and earlier, for some) . Three are individuals, one is a group of four (myself included). Yesterday, I went out with the group. It was to celebrate Christmas, New Year and one of... Continue reading →

NYE

by Girl // January 2, 2016 // No Comments

How did you spend your NYE? This was mine: A simple cafe brunch with my husband Got some work done Did my first “outreach” with a CoDa member – 1. I needed to share the pain I experienced when I... Continue reading →

2016 – let the newness unfold