Celebrate recovery: Codependency

by Girl // April 14, 2017 // 1 Comment

This is a guest post by my recovery buddy and friend, J. He surprised me by sending me this guest post for my blog out of the blue one day. It really touches my heart that he wanted to share... Continue reading →

Celebrate Friendship Month this Feb with these ideas

by Girl // February 7, 2017 // 8 Comments

February is International Friendship Month Though it may not be widely known, but what better month to celebrate love between friends than in the month of Love itself? I mean, Valentines doesn’t have to be exclusively celebrated between lovers. I know Amy... Continue reading →

be yourself everyone else taken quote - girlintherapy

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken

by Girl // January 18, 2017 // 7 Comments

Have you heard of the “Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken” quote? Being “me” vs the ideal daughter and sister I realised that being authentic, being myself and not trying to conform to society’s or other people’s standards also includes not... Continue reading →

Whispers of my heart — what my heart desires

by Girl // January 11, 2017 // 5 Comments

Whispers of my heart I talked to my old friend S a few days ago, and these words still linger and loom: “I know you want to be close to your sister…” I didn’t pay much attention to it at first.... Continue reading →

We are not responsible for someone else’s feelings

by Girl // December 30, 2016 // 11 Comments

We are not responsible for someone else’s feelings I finally sent my soon-to-be brother-in-law a text telling him how I feel toward his behaviour and attitude toward me. I composed it carefully, ensuring that I used “I” statements and did... Continue reading →

$I have a fractured family... and that's OK - girlintherapy$

I have a fractured family… and that’s OK

by Girl // December 23, 2016 // 38 Comments

I have a fractured family… and that’s OK Part of the recovery journey is to accept things for what they are, and not what you expect them to be. My family started breaking apart since the deterioration of my parents’... Continue reading →

How TV friendships unexpectedly helped me understand to let go of relationships that no longer serve me

by Girl // July 17, 2016 // 16 Comments

You know when you come across “letting go of the past” quotes? And you see something in the likes of: Letting Go of Things That No Longer Serve You? I went for my 3rd session of art therapy. And this is... Continue reading →

The shaming has not stopped

by Girl // February 8, 2016 // No Comments

Ringing in Chinese New Year It’s the Eve of Chinese New Year, a big festival for us. We had Reunion Dinner on 7 Feb, Sun night. It seems like my mother has not gotten tired of publicly shaming me yet. The... Continue reading →

My first CoDa outreach

by Girl // February 2, 2016 // No Comments

On New Year’s Eve, I did an “outreach” to a CoDa member. This is something that can be done when you feel the burning need to talk to someone, simply to share if you need a listening ear, or to get... Continue reading →

Detaching in love: My parents are “dead”

by Girl // January 20, 2016 // 15 Comments

Today is the day I finally accept that my parents are dead. More specifically, today is the day I come to terms that my IDEA of an ideal father and mother are dead. These “ideal” people do not exist My hope that... Continue reading →

Being in therapy is not a weakness

by Girl // January 14, 2016 // No Comments

Being in therapy is not a weakness. That’s what my Group Therapy mate told me a few weeks ago. In fact, it’s a strength. You are brave enough to seek help. You’re a trailblazer for someone from your culture. What... Continue reading →

No shame in having enough sleep

by Girl // January 11, 2016 // No Comments

There is no shame in having enough sleep. This is what I said aloud to my husband, as he was falling asleep on the couch (as he usually does). It may have spoken to him more than I expected. He... Continue reading →

I fear my own wedding video

by Girl // January 5, 2016 // No Comments

My wedding videographer has sent me the video in November for my review before it is being finalised and their job would be complete. My husband has said I can look at it and decide, he doesn’t need to give... Continue reading →

Decide, do and don’t hold on to the outcome

by Girl // January 4, 2016 // No Comments

So I brought up my agony with this group of friends at group therapy. Steve used a parallel: he asked if the three of us have been been dumped before. Two of us said yes, while one has been married really early... Continue reading →

Adult Friendships

by Girl // January 3, 2016 // No Comments

I spent 2015 mulling over four groups of friends (and earlier, for some) . Three are individuals, one is a group of four (myself included). Yesterday, I went out with the group. It was to celebrate Christmas, New Year and one of... Continue reading →

NYE

by Girl // January 2, 2016 // No Comments

How did you spend your NYE? This was mine: A simple cafe brunch with my husband Got some work done Did my first “outreach” with a CoDa member – 1. I needed to share the pain I experienced when I... Continue reading →

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A Recovering Codependent . . .

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