Don’t Mistake Your Strength For A Weakness

by Girl // January 9, 2017 // 3 Comments

Don’t Mistake Your Strength For A Weakness Yesterday when talking to my old friend, something he said, that I didn’t acknowledge, was him affirming me that I’m taking action to change things. He shared that it took him 20 years... Continue reading →

We are not responsible for someone else’s feelings

by Girl // December 30, 2016 // 11 Comments

We are not responsible for someone else’s feelings I finally sent my soon-to-be brother-in-law a text telling him how I feel toward his behaviour and attitude toward me. I composed it carefully, ensuring that I used “I” statements and did... Continue reading →

What I’ve learned at Codependents Anonymous in a year

by Girl // December 18, 2016 // 27 Comments

I celebrated my first year in Codependents Anonymous At Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) meetings, “CoDA birthdays” are celebrated and marked with chips. I really like the message on each one: To Thine Own Self Be True. I celebrated my one year with CoDA in... Continue reading →

How to overcome extreme fear of your dentist – reflections in the dentist’s chair

by Girl // August 6, 2016 // 2 Comments

I know there are people who have an extreme fear of their dentist. This post will help anyone who wants to overcome their fear of their dentist. Or at least understand the fear. I had two fillings done, so nothing... Continue reading →

The 4 A’s everyone needs: Attention, Affection, Approval, Acceptance

by Girl // April 3, 2016 // 9 Comments

I was made aware during group therapy today by Steve that I was a hungry person growing up (left starving) and now the situation has not changed, after my new phase in life — marriage. He helped me see that I... Continue reading →

Symptoms of Depression; dealing with Shame

by Girl // February 18, 2016 // No Comments

Today was another day I lay in bed till 5pm. I got up at 3pm, but answered emails and texts in bed till 5pm. I slept at 6.30am in the morning. I do think I have a sleeping disorder. Every... Continue reading →

The shaming has not stopped

by Girl // February 8, 2016 // No Comments

Ringing in Chinese New Year It’s the Eve of Chinese New Year, a big festival for us. We had Reunion Dinner on 7 Feb, Sun night. It seems like my mother has not gotten tired of publicly shaming me yet. The... Continue reading →

Being in therapy is not a weakness

by Girl // January 14, 2016 // No Comments

Being in therapy is not a weakness. That’s what my Group Therapy mate told me a few weeks ago. In fact, it’s a strength. You are brave enough to seek help. You’re a trailblazer for someone from your culture. What... Continue reading →

No shame in having enough sleep

by Girl // January 11, 2016 // No Comments

There is no shame in having enough sleep. This is what I said aloud to my husband, as he was falling asleep on the couch (as he usually does). It may have spoken to him more than I expected. He... Continue reading →

Girl in Therapy

A Recovering Codependent . . .

shame