My wedding videographer has sent me the video in November for my review before it is being finalised and their job would be complete. 

My husband has said I can look at it and decide, he doesn’t need to give his input. 

The videographer is a friend. Which makes me feel worse that I’ve delayed this long. She has been understanding and said we must be really busy!

Internal struggle

I think I’ve been delaying viewing the video and seeing how the day panned out, because of all the emotional baggage which comes with the whole wedding. I’m probably in escapism mode, in fear, in denial… At the back of my mind, I have a feeling that when I view the video, it could just be nothing, my fears are unfounded…

And maybe my husband not wanting to be a part of the viewing process makes me feel alone. Though it can be seen as liberating because he lets me make the decision. But I don’t feel this way. 

When will I muster the courage to have a look at the video? 🙁