Hug yourself today

Hug yourself today - girlintherapy

Hug yourself today

My sister got married on Sat 7 Jan.

I was sleep deprived in preparation for the day. After the entire do that night, without showering, I crashed on the couch. I woke up at 6am to see my husb out the door – he had a flight to catch.

I started to cry

…and spent the next two hours on my couch – going from tearing to sobbing, tearing to sobbing. A lot of thoughts danced in my mind.

I couldn’t put a finger on WHY exactly I was crying… But I realised knowing why was secondary. I should just stop thinking and let myself cry, since this is what my body wanted to do.

I also felt very alone

That fuelled my crying even more. I didn’t know WHO to tell, who to call/text to tell them I needed to talk.

I sent out a tweet

No replies. Usually I don’t get much responses on my Twitter, my recovery fam on IG is more expressive in showing support.

I realised I wanted to speak to and hear another human’s voice

Text on a screen wasn’t enough. I also wanted them to see me cry, if possible. This was very helpful during group therapy in the past. I realised I wanted that.

I was in anguish

I told myself – trust the Universe to provide!!! Now is the time to try… I found it in me to text 2 people, one is an old friend who knows my family, one is a CoDA friend/sponsor who knows my recent difficult time with my family, and I emailed my group therapy mate whom I’m still in contact with.

I was in shambles and was feeling VERY desperate for human communication.

The old friend replied rather quickly

I was surprised and relieved!!! It was after all 8am on a Sunday, I know he spends Suns with his child, but I tried my luck anyway. We ended up talking for an hour and a bit. It was so good to connect with him. I haven’t confided in him in a very long time.

The Universe sent another angel

My CoDA friend (and 14 Day program sponsor) replied my text some time later. I told her I managed to talk to someone. She told me:

I hope you have a restful day where you can recover and hug yourself very very tight.

I managed to sleep on and off today, but I’ve not hugged myself. I still find it hard to do.

This is a reminder

…to hug myself whenever I need one.

And to continue to hold on to the hope that the Universe provides.

 

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10 comments

  1. keepwatchingkatie profile image
    keepwatchingkatie says:

    @girlintherapy baby steps are always steps🏻 here if you need anything!! I have been where you are! Sadly it is all to easy to believe the negative then the positive

  2. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @keepwatchingkatie Heya… I only just saw your comment. Thank you SO MUCH. You speak some truths that I need to speak into my own life: “You are loved”, “you are worth happiness and self love”… Gee, I don’t tell myself that at all. I’m bad at self-affirming, and loving myself but I am willing to try, slowly, baby steps… 🙂 You are loved too!!!

  3. keepwatchingkatie profile image
    keepwatchingkatie says:

    You are loved! You are special, write on your bathroom mirror ” you are loved ” tell yourself this everyday, read it every morning, and every time you see it you are definitely worth happiness and self love ️ xoxo

  4. foodfreedomlife profile image
    foodfreedomlife says:

    Very sweet

  5. happynotperfect profile image
    happynotperfect says:

  6. mewshady01 profile image
    mewshady01 says:

    Hugs

  7. kms_health profile image
    kms_health says:

    Keep fighting and keep smiling!!

  8. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @yellow.ledbetter88 Aww, thanks!!!

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