Have you heard of the “Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken” quote?
Being “me” vs the ideal daughter and sister
I realised that being authentic, being myself and not trying to conform to society’s or other people’s standards also includes not trying to be the daughter my mother expects me to be or the sister my sister expects me to be.
A while ago I posted about putting to bed my expectations of my sister. And how I secretly wish to be close to her. I realise what I’ve been subconsciously doing is trying to behave in a way that is more acceptable to her, in hopes that I “become” the sister she hopes that I am.
The result of the great divide (unmet needs)
I get stressed and caught up in this desire of acceptance and closeness that I become defensive and resentful.
These are all Codependent traits: We go along to get along, we want people to like us, we need the approval of others.
That said, there is a greater desire in wanting all these from our immediate family, since that is our first source of identity. And our idea of a family is often where we’re supposed to find solace, and our place of safety.
I caught my “dagger eyes” in my my sister’s wedding video! (I was caught on camera, and the footage showed me looking at my sis in this manner.)
So this is how I look like??? When I’m around my family of origin? Gee… I look like I want to kill someone!
Being authentically me, no matter what
I’m learning that I am who I am, and should not try to be someone else.
People either accept me or they don’t.
View the original post on Instagram.
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