Be yourself, everyone else is already taken

be yourself everyone else taken quote - girlintherapy
Have you heard of the “Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken” quote?

Being “me” vs the ideal daughter and sister

I realised that being authentic, being myself and not trying to conform to society’s or other people’s standards also includes not trying to be the daughter my mother expects me to be or the sister my sister expects me to be.

A while ago I posted about putting to bed my expectations of my sister. And how I secretly wish to be close to her. I realise what I’ve been subconsciously doing is trying to behave in a way that is more acceptable to her, in hopes that I “become” the sister she hopes that I am.

The result of the great divide (unmet needs)

I get stressed and caught up in this desire of acceptance and closeness that I become defensive and resentful.

And hypervigilant.

These are all Codependent traits: We go along to get along, we want people to like us, we need the approval of others.

That said, there is a greater desire in wanting all these from our immediate family, since that is our first source of identity. And our idea of a family is often where we’re supposed to find solace, and our place of safety.

I caught my “dagger eyes” in my my sister’s wedding video! (I was caught on camera, and the footage showed me looking at my sis in this manner.)

So this is how I look like??? When I’m around my family of origin? Gee… I look like I want to kill someone!

Being authentically me, no matter what

I’m learning that I am who I am, and should not try to be someone else.

People either accept me or they don’t.

Family included.

 

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7 comments

  1. slparkel profile image
    slparkel says:

    Always love this quote!

  2. matjazmdoverfreedomcoach profile image
    matjazmdoverfreedomcoach says:

    This is great

  3. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:
  4. workmanlawfirm profile image
    workmanlawfirm says:

    Absolutely be yourself

  5. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @nisey_amido It’s great to hear your kids love you – good parent-child relationship is so precious. I don’t know why your mom or brother wish to keep their distance. I personally don’t know why my sister is (though I know from 2nd hand info from her husband, but it’s not the same and better if she told me herself). Yes we need to live life being who we are, and to importantly stop chasing people who don’t wish to see us for who we are and not expect something different.

  6. nisey_amido profile image
    nisey_amido says:

    My mother hasn’t really talked to me since my father passed away. Two years ago n my one and only brother hasn’t reached out to me. It’s saddens me to the core of my heart. The deepest in my soul. It hurts. I feel so unwanted. But I’ve come to realize I can’t let it get to me anymore. I don’t want to be stressed all the time and have a stroke or bellspalsey. It sucks, but IT IS WHAT IT IS!!! I gotta live. My Kids love me and to me that’s all that matters It’z a beautiful struggle. We gottz to keep ON keeping on 🏋🏋🏋🏋🏋 We are strong, we can do this. We got this!! The night is coming and the moon will be out. It’s gonna be great

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