You are your gift to the world

girlintherapy

You are your gift to the world

I’m feeling low today. After responding to some posts on IG, I realise a repetitive sense of worthlessness.

I’m plagued by my low (or no) self esteem, where I don’t think I bring anything to the table, I don’t create value and there is no point in existing (no suicidal thoughts) – just feeling flat and out.

Maybe because I’m starved of the 5 A’s (Acceptance, Appreciation, Approval, Affection, Attention) and I don’t know how to feed it to myself if no one is around to do that.

Inspired by @fakingitwithadhd’s post, I’ve created my own reminder for today.

If you’re struggling today, this is for you. This is for us.

I do want to learn of my worth (maybe I should just accept it first and understand it later) gradually and fathom how I am “precious and free”, according to CoDA literature.

 

View the original post on Instagram.

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12 comments

  1. kerryanningram profile image
    kerryanningram says:

    @girlintherapy You are very welcome beautiful soul! We all one big human family walking the road of life together!! So I’m so happy to hear you’re feeling better today and that what I shared helped. One day at a time my love. 🤗and I will continue to send you love and positive vibrations. 🤗

  2. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @kerryanningram Lastly, thank you for sending high vibrations my way. It must have helped, because I felt better today

  3. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @kerryanningram I wasn’t expecting to hear from you or any of the ladies from the FB Groups. I felt as if I’ve divided the recovery community on here and the FB Groups into two camps. I am VERY grateful that you took the time and effort to write to me in such detail. 1) You are right – there are ups and downs, and what I experienced was “down” time but what goes down must come up. 2) That is exactly what I’m learning in my Codependency recovery – to take back my power from others (which is what we tend to do) and to rely on our Higher Power; to develop healthy relationships with people and not rely solely or be dependent on others. 3) I’m surprised yet grateful that you opened up about your sexual abuse in childhood – it reminds me of my recent post about everyone having a story. Again, due to my low self-esteem, I tend to think everyone else but me has it altogether while I’m the only one in a mess. But behind confident smiles, people have stories in their life I don’t know about. I thank you for your openness and vulnerability in your sharing (it has helped me for sure). 4) It’s uncanny that you use language that I’m familiar with, and didn’t pull religion into this. So I can really relate to what you’re saying. 5) I don’t think I have the mental fortitude or discipline to implement “strong and positive affirmations”. I can’t even look into the mirror and like what I see. So I think I will go gentle with myself and start speaking to myself with kindness and compassion.

  4. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    Thank you for your words of kindness, @shykidclub. I’m grateful that we’ve “met” on IG too… You’re part of my recovery posse >_< "Beyond your thoughts and judgments there is pure love–worthy and whole, just in being" – I find it hard to accept and believe, even though I know you're right. I'm tearing as I write this, because someone is actually saying that to me. I think I'm not used to kindness and I sometimes think I'm undeserving of it. I'm feeling better today. So for that, I'm grateful.

  5. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @mewshady01 Thank you so much, you have been so supportive. It really touches my heart. I know – I need to look at my own affirmations and meditate on them and internalise them and live them out in my daily life! It was one of those really low moments, I don’t even know how I got there, just found myself there… I’m glad I’m right back up today. Not bright and chirpy, but better than last night for sure.

  6. girlintherapy profile image
    girlintherapy says:

    @fakingitwithadhd You post awesome stuff, and I’m glad to come to know you on here 🙂

  7. fakingitwithadhd profile image
    fakingitwithadhd says:

    Wow thank you! im glad i could help as a reminder

  8. mewshady01 profile image
    mewshady01 says:

    You are a strong beautiful woman struggling with false thoughts.Look at your affirmations and tell them to yourself over and over. Even though we are a great distance from each other we are connected and I am here for you.

  9. kerryanningram profile image
    kerryanningram says:

    Firstly, thank you for being brave enough to sharing what you’re feeling with us. I want you to know that it is okay to accept your low days, use them to get some needed rest. Some times that makes all the difference in our moods. Next, Start to condition your mind to be disciplined enough to start implementing strong and positive affirmations that you can say daily to yourself. Say them in front of a mirror so you learn how to give yourself everything you’re looking for from others. You and the Divine are the only ones who can give you exactly what you need. I started to do this in my life years ago when I was at my lowest point, which was after two failed suicide attempts. The last one was after I confronted my mother about her choosing her husband over me after I shared with her he had sexually violated me as a child. Anyway, I had to learn quickly how to pull myself out of the darkness. I knew that my purpose here on this planet is a very important one and I feel the same for you. After I developed a habit around positive self-talk and self-acceptance I started to attract positive, loving and excepting people around me. I learned that my pain was and is my power. I started to feel it and believe it about myself and I now I use it to teach people how to learn and grow from it to live their best life. What I know for certain is when you look for gratification from other people, you’re only setting yourself up to be disappointed. No one can give you what you truly need, except God. Remember, You are a part of this cosmic magic that is our universe. You are a divine entity housed within a body that was create from a source that is pure love, beautiful and inspiration. You are complete. Two great affirmation to repeat that can help you if you say them daily are: “I AM Enough” & “I Love Myself”. I hope my long text helped in some way. Sending you tons of love ️ wrapped in high vibration.

  10. baileyopsal profile image
    baileyopsal says:

    Wonderful 🙂

  11. shykidclub profile image
    shykidclub says:

    You’ve been a blessing & encouragement in my life and I’m sure in many others as well! And even aside from that, you are much more than what you do. Beyond your thoughts and judgments there is pure love–worthy and whole, just in being hoping you can see some glimmers of that

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