I’M BACKKKK…..!

I’ve not been on the blog for some time.

I’ve also been stalling my CoDA 14 Day program.

Blog halt…

I’ve gotten overwhelmed juggling my day job and maintaining my blog. I was on the blog a lot, and the various online marketing platforms a lot, and was neglecting my work.

I was also anxious to make it a second income stream for myself. I have posted affiliate links on certain pages. The Books and Natural Cures pages are some of them. (See affiliate disclosure here.)

I was not getting much traffic and any sales and I felt disheartened, and felt like I was doing everything wrong. One of my affiliate programs even expired. At first I was panicking. But later on, I decided that it was NOT the end of the world if it did. Thankfully, I can simply re-apply for it, apparently. *fingers crossed*

But having so much to say has not changed. Since I had not come to the blog to write (there were so many time-consuming prerequisites like picking a good blog title and other blogging necessities), I ventured to Instagram. I ended up writing mini blog posts there. And I used Twitter when the need arose for immediate rants. And spurts of emotion or thoughts.

Here are all my @girlintherapy social channels so far:

• Facebook Page facebook.com/girlintherapy
• Twitter twitter.com/girlintherapy
• Instagram instagram.com/girlintherapy

Go knock yourself out on my brain farts on Twitter!

And I hope you enjoy the quotes pics/posters I created on Instagram!

Each pic is made with thoughtfulness and love. I sometimes create a few versions to see which I like best or suits the message best. (I intend to blog about the tools I use to make them.) I love to create and express myself visually. So this is a great outlet for me. They encapsulate my thoughts and I hope that people will share them because they can relate or find them helpful. So many share-worthy pics on Pinterest (which I’m not that familiar with), I hope to start my own trend of share-able pics on Instagram!

Other thoughts:

1. The $0 that this blog has brought me (as a secondary income steam), I link it directly to my own failing. So the blog represents failure to me.
2. If I was not getting any money here, I’d better spend more time on what actually can — my day job. I’m self-employed, so no work, no income.
3. I’m disappointed and disheartened, especially since I thought I have done all the right things to monetise the blog. But a fellow CoDA sister told me, Codependents expect problems to resolve themselves immediately; we expect results on the spot!

When I think about it sensibly, I know I may see “success” at a later time, if I keep doing what I’m doing. For eg. my Instagram, I did not get more than 10 Likes per post. It averaged on 5  – 6 Likes. Now I see 13, even without any hashtags! Now I call that an accomplishment!

The members of my online marketing course post about their successes often and I feel like I’m the odd one out with nothing to report or shout about.

CoDA 14 Day program stall…

I honestly have no idea why I’ve been stalling on my 14-Day Program.

I’ve not really crystalised the reason. Until I think about it now.

I started in April but am only at Day 4 now 🙁

I technically finished Day 3 but I felt I somewhat skimmed over it. So I have not started work on Day 4, thought Day 4 is somewhat a repetition of Day 3.

Since I am posting my entire Day 1 to 14 here on the blog, I have Day 3 in draft but it’s incomplete at the moment.

A few possibilities:

1. A new friend in recovery thinks putting my day job before my 14-Day and recovery blogging is putting the cart in front of the horse. I agree with his notion. But yet, I can’t say I can confidently put a finger on the reason.
2. The art therapist I’m seeing is also an ADHD coach. (I’m not diagnosed but it’s highly likely that I have it.) She told me that ADHDers take some time to transit from one activity to another, more than “normal” people. This may be one reason why I have not “found time” to continue my 14-Day and blogging. ADHDers are also crap at time management – surprise, surprise.

Just a heads up, Day 3 is an epic endeavour, because it deals with characteristics and traits of Codependency. Thinking of fleshing it out already feels daunting.

I think a sign of my recovery is not being anxious and feeling like a bad person for not being up to speed with my 14 Day progress. Yet at the same time, I don’t know if I’m subconsciously shielding myself from my own harsh thoughts of not doing what I’m supposed to. It’s like I cut myself some, no, ALL slack, for not pulling my socks up.

Conclusion

I work on too many things at any one time, because I’m a worse multi-tasker than I think. And then I will end up overwhelmed and shutting down, and shutting things out.

I have to learn to balance out everything, and not end up ignoring one thing for another.

I have to disassociate failure from my blog.

I have to get back on track with my 14 Day program, because I really want to get on with my 12 Step program at some point.

I hope you will be there when I do. I hope to meet others like myself in recovery through my blog.  I hope my blog provides respite of some sort for others in recovery. I hope you will realise you are not alone in whatever you’re going through. I hope you will find useful and helpful stuff on here. And there will be fun stuff too. Not just stuff that’s sad and depressing. I want to empower people, like how some others have given me strength.

I’ve so much stuff I want to write about!!! I hope you are looking forward to them as much as I am!