This is a weekly series of reflections regarding the day's meditation (reading) in The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie that is read aloud at the CoDependents Anonymous (CoDA) meetings I attend. Read more posts from this series of Reflections.
If you’re someone who feels stuck in your comfort zone, or considering to explore what else is “out there”; if you’re looking for the benefits of trying something new, you’ve come to the right place…
MAR 30 Meditation:
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Experiment
Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.
We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.
As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.
Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.
Some things we just won’t like. That’s good. Then we’ll know a little more about who we are and what we don’t like.
Some things we will like. They will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life-enriching.There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling-off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.
There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to “test the water.”
Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, experimentation.
Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.
Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you won’t like it. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you’ll discover something you love.
Prayer
Today, I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.
“As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment”
I can relate to this statement because my mother was very protective.
My sister found the way to “rage against the machine” by being a brat and demanding her way all the time. And since she was the baby of the family, she often got what she wanted.
The struggle I faced was being torn between rebelling for what I want and being the child that my mother approves of (because I craved for her approval — which I never got).
“Let yourself try things.”
I view this suggestion in both personal and professional realms.
What this reading is saying is to dare to step out of our comfort zone. Dare to dip your toe in the waters of possibility and lack of fear.
“Yes, you will make mistakes.”
This makes it sound certain that we will make mistakes.
And they’re probably right. I guess no sugar-coating here, and also great to be prepared than building castles in the sky.
And this is one area that I have great difficulty with: FEAR OF FAILURE.
I am often too hard on myself when things don’t go my way, or “as planned”. Or, in the way the world views “success”.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
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> View Thought For The Day by Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation (the book's publisher) here.
“Some things we just won’t like. That’s good… Some things we will like.”
I guess what Melody Beattie is saying is: If you don’t try, you’ll never know. How would you know if you’ve not tried? Sometimes too much fear and negative self-talk get in the way. That’s why some people say we lose our “innocence” as adults, because we forget how to PLAY. As kids, we didn’t overthink, we simply tried things we wanted.
“We’ll know a little more about who we are”
Giving ourselves a chance to experiment and try new things is also creating an opportunity for self-discovery, to find out more about ourselves — who we are, what we stand for…
We learn more about ourselves when we expand our horizons, open our heart and mind to welcome what the world has to offer! We say “yes” to possibility!
“Recovery means exploration, investigation, experimentation.”
Our experiences when putting ourself out there doesn’t have to be perfect. It will likely be scary.
But in CoDA I learn that I’ve a Higher Power who looks out for me. So I’m still safe, when I allow myself to be exposed.
“…being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.”
Yes, we need to let go of the old ways that we have been programed — be it by our parents or other authority figures in our life.
We need to know it’s OK to become “our own person”, and develop our own values, like what the reading said, based on love for the Self and Other in the world around us.
Conclusion
I think most importantly, we have to keep in mind that it’s OK to take one’s time to experiment. Take one step at a time to be closer to feeling safe and comfortable with the idea and thereafter, carrying it out.
Lastly, don’t cocoon or isolate yourself if the result of trying something new garners a negative experience. Heal from it, and then try again.
@foxyfoxy_kittykitty @anxietywobbles @nycaviv Thanks guys! ???
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Keep it up!
I do love this post. This is so true. Life becomes more meaningful if we try to explore things. It is not a good thing being stagnant in our own comfort zone. As what the popular saying says, “Calm seas, do not make skillful sailors.” So, it is good to try and to experiment. It is normal to make mistakes but what important is how we rise after our mistakes.
Appreciate you sharing your lovely and insightful thoughts, Ana Rose 🙂
Love this post. So true that trying new things really does change your life. Thanks for this!
Trying new things can be scary, but usually it ends up being totally worth it.
I’m a big believer in trying new things, although it can be difficult at times, but it also makes life more interesting 😉
YESSS. Looks like we are on the same page, Megan 🙂
I love trying new things and bettering myself. I definitely think this is the way to a better life. nice post!
Can’t agree more, Michenn 🙂
Excellent points and a great reminder to get out of my comfort zone!
Thanks Shelby 🙂 We all need a reminder (or two) sometimes!
It is important to try new things. Life can get so humdrum that leaving the comfort zone can really help and improve clarity.
I know what you mean Janine! 🙂
Trying new things is so important to mental health, I agree! That is why I love traveling, and I love taking classes. 😀
That’s great – expanding our horizons is expanding our being, and taking in what the world has to offer 🙂
Incredible post! I have been working on this too and trying to find ways to relieve my anxiety. Great post
Thanks for your kind words, Andrea 🙂 It’s easy for anxiety to creep up when venturing into the unknown – I can relate for sure.
Trying something new is quite scary at first, but its part of the process. However its fun, exciting and makes you challenge yourself, and you’ll discover a new you.
Indeed, Blair. Glad you agree with my message too 🙂
This is such a fantastic message. So many people need to try new things and I hope this post inspires more! Sharing x
Thank you Krysti! Yes – people need to get out there and experience LIFE once in a while 🙂
I do try to step out of my comfort zone once in a while. I admit, I don’t do it often because I prefer to stay where I am comfortable, but sometimes I do it. Most of the time I’m always glad I did. Sometimes I’m like, “Ugh, staying in my house where it’s safe.”
Sure – safety is important too. Like the old adage: There is a time for everything.
There is a time to explore; there is a time to cozy up under the covers!
That’s interesting that we are often stopped from experimenting by protective parents. I try to do something that scares me a bit as often as I can!
Doing something that scares you a bit sounds like a grand plan!
And yes, over-protective parents were the party poopers of my time.
Seems like you had a very different childhood than me then 😉
#ReturntoInnocence
Wow, just wow. This is a beautiful post and I couldn’t agree more. When I started to allow myself out of my comfort zone I found my anxiety was starting to lessen. I have a long way to go still, but this has been one of the best pieces of advice for helping that progression.
Leaving one’s comfort zone can be a scary thought. But one can do it slowly, one step at a time. I think the rewards will outweigh the fear in the long term! Glad you’re daring to take a risk, Chava… 🙂
I’m a huge fan of trying things! Love this post. 🙂