“Getting angry and yelling at or hitting a child for being angry, yelling, or hitting is like throwing mud at a muddy child and expecting it to get them clean. Showing adult self-control and responding with compassionate guidance is like a gentle shower of wisdom bathed in love. Parent, don’t punish.”
My own thoughts on anger and parenting
How often have I seen parents screaming at their child in public for various reasons? Countless times… My heart pains whenever I witness such a scene.
I get it, the parent may be:
- practicing tough love either because that’s the only way they know how or they’ve tried the soft approach and it doesn’t seem to work
- wanting to show the kids who’s boss
- using anger to counter anger to intimidate and instill fear; it’s punishing their kid with their own medicine
- intentionally publicly embarrassing and shaming their kid into submission
- at their wits end because they don’t know how else to make their kid shut up and listen to them
I think parents need to differentiate their need to vent their frustration and emotion compared to disciplining or guiding their child. These lines get blurred and the kids get the brunt of what parents lash out at them.
No one is born a “good parent”. But there is always room to learn, and it depends on if people are genuinely willing to.
It’s honestly centuries of f*ked up parenting that has caused so much dysfunctional family relationships.
I wish more people would want to be good parents for real. And not because society says you’re a good and dutiful person if you create another human being, and to not use your own flesh and blood for your own vanity and to fill your emotional void.